Really? 20 Years?!

Donald Raymond Burch
March 13, 1929 - December 26, 1992

December 26, 1992.

That was the saddest day of my life, so far. It was the day I had to say my final good bye to my dad.

It's hard to believe it's been 20 years.

People always say when you lose a loved one, there will be good days and there will be bad days. And that you never really get over it. And that the grief will come out of no where. That was true in the beginning, for sure. Over the years, those bad days have been less, but I had no idea that 20 years later, grief would still sneak up on me.

This year, it has definitely snuck up on me. I don't know if it's because it's the 20 year mark or if it's because - now don't laugh - K and I watched the movie The Last Song around Thanksgiving. It was my second attempt trying to get through that movie because Miley Cyrus ruins it for me. (I don't think there is a worse actress out there that gets on my nerves quite like she does.)

If you haven't seen the movie, in a nutshell, she's a teenage girl that despises her parents and she finds out her dad has cancer. She gets the chance to spend time with him, get to know him and care for him as he's fighting his losing battle against cancer.

February 12, 1971

This made me sad as I reflected back on me losing my dad. When my dad was dying, it was just me and my mom at home. My siblings were adults and on their own or going to college so my mom and I were the ones there 24/7. I was just 14 years old. I say my mom and I were his primary care givers, but it was mostly my mom. (The strength she had during that time amazes me. She was strong for him, strong for us, and strong for herself. She deserves a medal of honor!)

Like I said, I was 14. I don't think I fully understood that my dad was dying and what that really meant. It meant that this was my last chance with him - and I wasted it. I mostly hid and ran from what was happening once he started going downhill. I remember trying to always be somewhere else - friends houses, neighbors houses, anywhere but home - and when I was home, I remember being locked in my room as much as possible.

Watching The Last Song, I realized how I cheated myself out of the last moments I would ever have with my dad. This broke me. All that time I spent in my room, I should have been at his side. Even if it was to just watch TV... to sit in silence. At least I was with him. Those times I escaped to friends and neighbors, I should have been hanging out with him.

Less than thrilled with my teenage shenanigans.
Possibly April of 1992

Should have, could have, would have... but didn't. I don't beat myself up for not handling it differently. I was just 14. I didn't know better. Sure, I knew about death - I had lost grandparents, but nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent. Especially not at 14. So I am forgiving with myself that I didn't handle it then the way I would now, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still make me sad that it wasn't different.

Sometimes when people lose loved ones they have a hard time letting go of their grief because they believe that by letting go of their grief, they will somehow forget the one they're grieving. For me, that wasn't really an issue. I always thought - how could I ever forget my dad?! And then there was the day I realized that I had forgotten what my dad's voice sounded like. I just sobbed. It felt terrible. I had forgotten. My dad was a traveling salesman and every other week when he was out of town, we'd talk on the phone... and now I wouldn't even know his voice if he called me. It was a gut wrenching realization. I was sad for me. I was devastated for him - did he know I had forgotten and was he hurt that I could forget?! I felt almost like I had abandoned him somehow.

I wasn't just cheated out of his death, I was cheated out of his life, too. There were moments growing up that I wished he could have been there for - learning to drive, buying my first car, wrecking my first car, graduating high school, my wedding. You know, those big moments in life that parents are supposed to be a part of. (Thankfully, my mom was still a part of all those moments - I couldn't even fathom not having her to always depend on!)

1986

He got the opportunity to watch one out of three of his daughters graduate high school, graduate college, and walk her down the aisle. She got everything I didn't and I think how lucky she is to have had all that with him. However, she thinks I am the lucky one because she says I got more of him than any of the rest of the kids because he had a home office that he worked from when he was home so he was around more when I was growing up. Believe me, I cherish the memories I do have of that time... I just feel like I didn't value those moments back then like I would have later in my life. At the same time, I watched my other sister go through some very tough times with my dad in her teenage years - times I would not have wanted to go through with him.

I feel like I missed out on so much. He missed out on so much. We all missed out on so much! My dad died seven months before his first grandson was born. Oh, how I think he would have loved his grandkids and how they would have loved him!

It's hard to believe it's been 20 years. In my own mind, I guess I thought that after 20 years, his death wouldn't still haunt me. I was wrong. For whatever reason, the loss of my dad is weighing heavy in my heart this year. The grief doesn't cripple me like it did in the beginning, but it still lingers.

1979

Yesterday, on my way to work I was thinking about that last Christmas as I fought back the tears. That Christmas was a tough one, to say the least. He was too incoherent to partake in and Christmas activities - not that there were many that year - but it was the last time his whole family was all together under the same roof. (At least I think we were - for some reason, I think my one sister might not have been there on Christmas, but I cant imagine her not being there with how sick my dad was.) Although he wasn't coherent, I do believe that he somehow knew that it was Christmas and that his family was all there because he held on and made it through the day.

I know that my dad is still watching over us... I feel him the most when I am playing cards and people get pissed because I am relentless and kicking their butts (unless I am playing my mom - he's on her side then.) LOL But, what I wouldn't do for more time with him. A year, a month, a day, an hour, a moment... whatever it is, I would do just about anything for a direct connection to him again.

What advice would he give me? What life lessons would he want to teach me? What might he say to me? What would I say to him? Would he be proud? Is he proud?

So today, I will remember my dad. I will take the time to light a candle in his honor and think about the man he was - not perfect by any means, but at minimum, a good man, a good Dad. Some people don't ever get a chance to even meet their dad's. Some know them, but wish they didn't. While I feel the loss, I recognize the treasure I had in getting to have my dad for the time I did and knowing he was the best Dad he knew how to be!

November 1992

Reindeer Noses

Every year for the past few years, my mom has asked me to craft something for her Church's Holiday fundraising sale. The last three years she has asked me to do Scrubbies, which were not my favorite. You can learn how to make them and read about my disdain for them here. 

Well, my mom let me off the hook this year and asked me to make these cute tags instead of Scrubbies. (If I am honest with myself, she probably got tired of me bitching about doing them.) She found this idea on Pinterest, of course!

It started out rough:

I did not like how they were turning out. The lettering looked sloppy, they holly wasn't stamping right and the colored pencils weren't popping like I wanted them to. I think it was at this point I texted my mom this picture and told her that she really should have had my sister Melissa do them because she was much better at stuff like this. I even texted Melissa and asked her to take over the project. - They both assured me that it was cute, even at that point.  

 

 And then I was determined. I will make the letter stamps I have fit. I will find pens that I can color Rudolph with. I will make it happen. And it did. It finally came together and I was satisfied with it's cuteness. 

Overall, it was a fairly inexpensive project. I had to purchase the Reindeer stamp (hard to believe I didn't have one in my thousands of dollars worth of scrapbooking stuff!) I think I paid $1.50 for the stamp. I bought 2 packs of the tags - they came in packages of 10 for $1.99. Oh, and I had to buy the sparkle glue for Rudolph's nose. It was the most expensive at $3.99, but it came in a three pack of three different colors. I also used a 40% off coupon on each thing (yes, I made four separate trips to Michaels) so it really wasn't even that expensive. I had all the rest of the supplies in my reserve - holly and letter stamps, ink, pens. 

It turned out pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself! 

 Here's to wishing you all a very ....

Better than Pumpkin Pie

And believe me when I tell you I LOVE pumpkin pie! But, I am the only one in my house who does so usually half of the pie gets thrown out and then I overindulge in the left over cool whip. So this year, I decided to try something different... and they were a HIT!

Of course there are hundreds of pumpkin something or other recipes on pinterest, but I picked this one.  The pin led me to Mama B's Blog with the simplest, most delicious cupcake I have ever made.

Ingredients:

• Cake mix of choice (I used a spice cake mix but I imagine any flavor would work. - I wonder if a white cake would pull out the pumpkin flavor more. Hmmm...)
• 1-15 oz can of Pumpkin Puree

Frosting:

• 1 package of cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup of butter, softened
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 cups of powdered sugar

Mix the cake mix and the pumpkin puree in a stand mixer. Fill your muffin tin holders 3/4 of the way full with the batter. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Let cool completely while making your frosting.

For the frosting: mix all of the ingredients together until fluffy and frost your cooled cupcakes!

 The frosting is key. After baking the first batch (I made two so K could take some to work for her pot luck), of course I needed to taste test the cupcake to make sure it wasn't poisoned. I was actually a little concerned because it wasn't that spectacular. In fact, it seemed kind of bland and left a weird after taste. But I continued on.

Before I even frosted the cupcakes, I "accidentally" got some on my finger so, of course I had to check that for poison too and OH EM GEE! It was so good I about dropped to my knees. (Ok, that's probably a little dramatic, but I have to get the point across that it was good.) My SIL thought it was so good, she wanted just a bowl of frosting, skip the cupcake. I'm telling you - it was good. Did I mention how good it was? ;o)

I scooped the frosting into a piping kit (which my piping skills leave something to be desired as you see in the picture above), and started frosting these little pieces of heaven. I was able to exercise some self control and wait until after we ate our Thanksgiving dinner to test it out and seriously, I don't think I will ever buy another pumpkin pie again in my life! It was ah-mazing!

A few tips -- The cupcake batter comes out unusually thick. I questioned it, but it just made the cupcake a little more dense than the average cupcake, which I think made it better. Some people on Mama B's Blog said they added a little water. I s'pose you could do that, but I don't recommend it - they were perfect without the water.

Like the professional cupcake bakers I watch on TV, I used an ice cream scooper to scoop the batter into the cups. The first batch I made, I did a whole scoop... it was fine, but they came out a little bumpy and more like muffins because they expanded so much when they cooked. After that I did about 3/4 of a scoop and they turned out perfect... I got 28 cupcakes total and probably could have gotten 32 if I would have done smaller scoops for the first batch.

Last, but not least, we stored our cupcakes in the fridge. Partly because I feel weird about leaving cream cheese based food out. I'm not sure what the rule is, but I would hate to cause all my taste testers food poisoning because I left a dairy product out too long. Also, that's typically how we store our cakes. I don't know why, but I think cake tastes better cold. 

I really hope you will partake in this awesome, super simple, delicious treat! I promise, you wont regret it. If your a little skeptical of the pumpkin... or the fact that there's only two ingredients in the cupcakes, fine... don't make the cupcakes that way, but do yourself a favor and make the frosting... slather it on anything.

P.S. I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving and found yourselves realizing you had more than enough to be thankful for.

Apple Cheesecake Bars

I got the original recipe from The Girl Who Ate Everything. She called hers Caramel Apple Cheesecake Bars. I decided to leave the Carmel off my title because the first night K and I ate this, I forgot the caramel. The second night, I remembered the caramel but as I grabbed the jar of caramel off the counter, I realized that it wasn't caramel at all, but it was butterscotch sauce. So, technically my version didn't have any caramel at all.

Ingredients: 

Crust:
2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

Cheesecake Filling:

3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened

3/4 cup sugar, plus 2 tablespoons, divided

3 large eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract 

 

Apples:

3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and finely chopped

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg 

 

Streusel Topping:

1 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup quick cooking oats

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened

1/2 cup caramel topping

 

Directions:

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 

 

For the crust:

In a medium bowl, combine flour and brown sugar. Cut in butter with a pastry blender (or 2 forks) until mixture is crumbly. Press evenly into a 9×13 baking pan lined with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Bake 15 minutes or until lightly browned. 

 

For the cheesecake filling:

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese with 3/4 cup sugar in an electric mixer at medium speed until smooth. Then add eggs, 1 at a time, and vanilla. Stir to combine. Pour over warm crust. 

 

For the apples:

In a small bowl, stir together chopped apples, remaining 2 tablespoons sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Spoon evenly over cream cheese mixture. 

 For the streusel topping: 
In a small bowl, combine all ingredients. I like to really combine it by using my clean hands to thoroughly combine the butter into the mixture.

Sprinkle Streusel topping over apples. Bake 40-45 minutes, or until filling is set. Drizzle with caramel topping and let cool. Serve cold and enjoy! Make 16 servings.

It's a lot of steps, but I think they're worth it. Next time I might use more apples, but it was delish just the way it was. I would make it again, for sure but it was waaaay too much for just me an K. It would have to be a dish I share in the future, or take to a gathering.

Crock Pot Taco Chili

Well, hello strangers! Have you missed me? I have missed you. 

I am still adjusting to my new job. I am used to having a lax work environment where I could just blog from work (on my breaks, of course. Psh.) and my new job is literally no internet, no email, no phones, etc while on the floor. I mean, I get it... we need our attention to be on saving lives, not surfing the net, but it's tough to find time to blog from home. And really, by "finding time" I mean finding the desire to want to take the time to turn on the computer, format pictures, down load pics and all the other fun stuff it takes to post a blog. Not to mention that I work from 9:45am to 8:00pm. I feel like my entire day is at work. I wake up, come home, eat dinner, unwind a bit by watching bad TV (since baseball is over GO GIANTS!!!!!!), and go to bed. Where is the time for blogging in there? ;o) 

Whatever, I am here now and that's what really matters. Just because I haven't been blogging, doesn't mean the projects have been lacking. One of the things I have been up to is making some chili. Taco Chili to be exact. It's a recipe I used to make all the time, but I haven't made it for a few years. 

Ingredients

• 1lb ground beef (or turkey or fake meat/crumble) - browned and drained
• 28-oz. can crushed tomatoes
• 1 can corn - undrained
• 1 can black beans - undrained
• 1 can kidney beans - undrained
• 1 packet Ranch dressing mix
• 1 packet taco seasoning (I used the less sodium)
• 1 small onion - chopped
• Fritos (or any tortilla chip)
• Shredded cheese
• Sour cream

Directions

• Combine all ingredients except shredded cheese, sour cream, and Fritos in slow cooker and give it a stir.
• Cover and cook on low for 4-6 hours. 
• Garnish individual servings with chips, cheese, and sour cream.

This is yummolicious! :o) Now if we could just convince the beautiful So Cal weather to take some time off so we can enjoy some cooler fall temps, we'll be perfect! :o)

That's all I have for you this round. I have other recipes and projects to share, but not today... probably not tomorrow... maybe this weekend. We'll see. Just be patient with me. Hopefully, I will get my groove back soon.

BOO!

I think I saw this project last fall when I first signed up for Pinterest. I bought the letters last year and just never getting around to doing this project.

While I was off work, I was going through all my scrapbook paper and found this halloweenish paper I never really cared for in a scrapbook setting and I thought it was perfect Halloween paper. Then I remembered the letters and I thought, PERFECT! I'll do it.

So I did.

Here's what you'll need:

• Wood letters - any size, really
• Pencil
• Scissors
• Scrapbook Paper
• Mod Podge
• Exacto Knife
• Sponge paint brush
• Embellishments (If you wish)
• Paint (maybe)

Here's what you'll do:

1. Trace the letters onto the scrapbook paper and cut them out. Don't worry if they don't fit perfectly, you'll have a chance to clean that up later.
2. If you want, this is where the paint could come in. Paint the letters whatever color you want. I chose not to because I didn't want to have to wait for it to dry before I started Mod Podging. 
3. Put a layer of Mod Podge on the letter and adhere the paper to the letter. Do your best to line up the borders of the paper with the letter, but not to worry if there's a lot of over hang. 
4. Put 2-4 more layers of Mod Podge over the paper to help seal it. 
5. Let that dry completely.
6. Take an exacto knife and clean up the edges. I suppose sand paper might work too, but I was worried about damaging the letter itself so I just cut around the letters. 
7. Once that's done, embellish as you wish. 
8. Oh! And don't forget the help from the family pet.

For some reason, Edward really liked this one. :o)

Fall is my most favorite time of year. Halloween is one of K's favorite Holidays. I did this project more for here than I did me. Hopefully, this project will inspire you to do something fall/Halloween related. 'Tis the season to start getting in the spirit!!!

Project inspired by Then She Made.

S'Mores Brownies

Where's the Graham Cracker part of the S'More?
We'll get to that.

 More like S'mores Brownies disaster. SMH

Recipe swiped from Prevention RD. I just read that she is a Registered Dietitian. I am not really sure what Dietitian in their right mind would recommend this recipe, but at the same time - right on to her for not being a stiff Dietitian that says you can't enjoy life's little pleasures. :o)

Ingredients:

• 1 pack brownie mix (Betty Crocker,  Duncan Hines, etc. – my selection had 18 servings, 140 calories each)
• 1/3 cup canola oil
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 large egg
• 2 cups miniature marshmallows
• 4 graham crackers, cut into chunks
• 2 Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bars, cut into each segments

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Spray 9×9-inch baking pan with non-stick cooking spray.

Prepare the brownie mix according to the directions on the box (or use your favorite homemade recipe) using the oil, egg, and water.

After baking, remove the pan from the oven and set the oven to broil at 500-550 F.

Cool brownies for about a minute then sprinkle the marshmallows over the warm brownies. Make sure to cover most of the area. Sprinkle the graham crackers on top of the marshmallows. Broil about 4-5 inches from the heat for 30 seconds to a minute until the marshmallows are golden brown. Watch carefully so that they don’t burn. Sprinkle with Hershey’s milk chocolate bars.

Sounds simple enough, right? Sure... if you're not me. LOL

If you look back at the picture on the top, perhaps you wonder where the Graham Crackers are, huh? Well, here they are ----

Burnt to a crisp and in a separate bowl.

OK, first of all, we have an electric stove/oven and electric sucks. I did exactly what the recipe said, set it to broil, had the rack where I thought it was meant to be, put the dish back in the oven and set the timer for 2 minutes and before the two minutes were even up, I smelled burning and took out the dish to find my Graham Crackers burnt to a crisp.

If (and that is a giant IF) I were to ever make these again, I would probably throw the brownies back in the oven without the Graham Crackers and I would probably crumble/crush the crackers, instead of cutting them. It was unnecessary to have such neatly cute Grahams.

Anyway, I immediately pulled all the Graham Crackers off the brownies but still put the chocolate chunks on it. The end result left something to be desired. They were very rich, the marshmallows were gooey (duh) and I just didn't care for them. But then again, I don't really care for real S'Mores either. So there ya have it.

Not So Skinny Poolside Dip

This recipe is effing YUM-MY!

I originally found the recipe on Pinterest, of course. The pin said it was called "Skinny Poolside Dip" because they used fat free cream cheese. Ummmm... NO WAY! I love cream cheese waaayyyy too much to do it fat free if I don't have to.

Here's my version of the recipe:

• 18 oz cream cheese (softened)
• 1 can diced chiles, drained
• 1 red bell pepper (I didn't use the entire bell pepper)
• Diced black olives, drained
• 1 can of corn, drained
• 1 packet Ranch Dip Dressing

Mix all the ingredients together. The end.

As if. This is me we're talking about. It wouldn't be me if I didn't have some cheffing disaster.

OK, so I got home from the store about 7:30pm with the cream cheese. Since I needed it soft, I didn't put the cream cheese in the fridge. It was about 10:30pm when I finally got around to making the dip. 3 hours should be long enough to "soften", in fact, I was kind of wondering if the cream cheese would still be OK to eat. I was wrong... at least about the cream cheese being soft.

I put the cream cheese in the bowl, added the Ranch packet and attempted to stir. It wasn't going well... Hmmm... what can I do?A potato masher? I don't think so. A fork? No, that wont work either. I know! The mixer! Well, loyal readers... let me just tell you, the mixer was NOT the way to go. As you can see from the picture, all it really did was cake all the cream cheese in the mixing sticks. :o|

Once I scraped the cream cheese from the mixers and decided to add the rest of the ingredients... maybe they will somehow make it easier to mix... and it did. :o) (Either that or the mixers actually softened it up.)

I refrigerated it over night and served it up poolside the next afternoon with some Wheat Thins. It was quite a hit. We kept having to put the lid back on it so we could control ourselves and not gobble it up in 5 minutes. It was delicious and I absolutely recommend this recipe!!!!

Photo Canvas

Disclosure: I took a week off before starting my new job on the 17th of this month. It was fabulous. I think I could really get used to being a housewife. I got stuff done and didn't mind doing the chores I hate to do when I am working.

The good news is, during that week, I got several projects done and a few new recipes cheffed. The bad news is I am getting ready to go to training out of town, so the likelihood of me keeping up momentum and blogging in the next three weeks is slim to none. Therefore, I will space out the blogs I do have and will hopefully have some fun stuff to blog when I get home.

Ok, on to the Photo Canvas... 

My good friend Teenah over at Teenah's Projects inspired this project. She did her's with fabric, I did mine with scrapbook paper.

Here's what you'll need:

• Canvas (I used 8x8)
• Scrapbook paper (I used 12x12 and trimmed)
• Photo (I used 4x6)
• Mod Podge
• Sponge brush
• Exacto Knife
• Embellishment (Optional - I thought it was a little plain without it.)

Don't forget to incoporate the help
of the family pet!

Here's what to do:

1. I did a layer of Mod Podge on the front of the canvas and carefully adhered the paper to the canvas. 
2. After letting that dry for a couple minutes, I cut two sides of the corners vertically and folded the paper over the sides and adhered it with Mod Podge.
3. Allow that to dry and trim the edges of the paper around the canvas with the Exacto knife. 
4. Put a layer of Mod Podge all over the paper and glue your picture down.
5. After that dries, put a couple more coats of Mod Podge all over the canvas and photo. Don't forget to do a couple more coats on the sides too - just to be sure to seal the deal. 
6. My embellishment had it's own sticky on the back of it so I used that to adhere it to the canvas. In hindsight, I should have put it down when the last coat of Mod Podge had just been applied to help hold the stick.

Peach Treat

This was a tasty, refreshing little treat but waaaay too much for my family of two. Next time I will definitely half the recipe.

Of course I screwed up the recipe. SMH, I really don't know how I manage sometimes! LOL Check out A Little Tipsy for the original recipe. Below is how mine turned out. It went a little something like this:

Photo borrowed from A Little Tipsy

Ingredients

•  2/3 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 2 pkg graham crackers, crushed
• 1/3 cups oats
• 7-8 large peaches 
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/4 cup lemon juice 
•  Cool Whip 

Directions

• Mix graham cracker crumbs, powdered sugar, oats, and butter together. Put a layer in the bottom of your pan, saving some to sprinkle on top. 
• Mix the lemon juice with the can of sweetened condensed milk. Pour over the peaches and mix until peaches are coated. 
• Pour peach mixture into pan over crust. 
• Top with Cool Whip
• Sprinkle with left over crust mixture. 

Mine looked more like this one.
Photo borrowed from A Little Tipsy

So the original recipe called for whipping cream, I am assuming to make your own whipped topping. My oversight of that ingredient and getting Cool Whip instead is sort of comical. It was probably a Freudian slip. See, I love Cool Whip. I have ever since I was a kid. If we have it, I will sneak a spoon full from time to time and have even been known to have a bowl of it like ice cream. I LOVE it.

Anyway, it turned out fine. I assume not much different than the original recipe. The lemon was a little overbearing on the first day, but seemed to have not been as bad the second day. It doesn't have a very long shelf life so either eat it fast or prepare it for when you are planning to have company.

CrockPot Pot Roast Success!

I originally saw this recipe over at my good friend's blog, Teenah's Projects.

I have not had the most success with these CrockPot recipes. Most of the time they're too salty or the chicken has a weird texture - it's always something. I had kind of sworn off the Crock unless it was a soup recipe. Not really sure what made me try this recipe, especially since it wasn't really a hit at Teenah's house, but I am glad I tried it.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup flour
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1 Tbsp EVOO
• Pot Roast (2-5 lbs)
• 1 Envelope Brown Gravy
• 1 Envelope Ranch Dressing (I used about half a packet)
• 1 Envelope Italian Dressing (I used about half a packet)
• Potatoes (I used red potatoes)
• Baby Carrots
• 1.5 cups water

I have never cooked a roast before and don't really do much with red meat so as I stood in the meat aisle of the store, I realized I had no clue what to buy, so I phoned a friend - or rather, my mom. We decided on a chuck roast. While talking to my mom, she said it would be better to coat the meat in flour and brown it. The original recipe doesn't say to do that, so I suppose that step is optional. 

Directions

• Heat EVOO on medium heat.
• Mix the flour and pepper and coat meat.
• Brown meat on both sides. 
• While browning the meat, put enough baby carrots to cover the bottom of the Crock. Cut up potatoes and throw them on top of the carrots. I just eyeballed the amount.
• Mix together the enveloped seasonings and sprinkle a small layer over the carrots and potatoes. 
• Place the meat on top of the carrots and potatoes and sprinkle the rest of the seasonings over the meat. 
• Pour water over meat.
• Cook on high for the 1st two hours, turning the meat over after an hour. 
• Cook on low for another 5 hours. (The original recipe says to cook on low for 6-10 hours, but I had a think chunk of meat so I turned it up a bit to ensure we weren't eating dinner at 10pm.)

I  immediately doubted that this was going to turn out, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a little bland, so perhaps I withheld too much of the Ranch and Italian seasonings, but I have had this combo before and it ended up super salty so I was hesitant to use the full amounts as suggested.

Overall it was delish and the only thing it was missing was warm French bread slathered with butter to sop up the extra sauce. I will definitely make this again when the weather gets colder. :o)

Lemon Buttercream Frosting

We recently had another good friend celebrate a six year anniversary so, of course, I wanted to bake her a cake! We asked her wife what her favorite cake was and she said lemon cake with lemon frosting. Easy enough, right? Perhaps... but this is me we're talking about. Nothing is ever easy and it's always an adventure.

I was doing this last minute so I just bought a boxed lemon cake mix and was going to make the frosting myself. My intent was to make this one, but somehow missed the frosting that was an ingredient so I didn't get any at the store. Before I even started making it, I was wondering how 2 cups of powdered sugar and a quarter cup butter was going to turn into frosting, but I have taught myself to trust the process... so I started blending the two and immediately knew my first instinct was right. So I looked at the recipe again and that was when I realized I needed frosting. It was already 11:30 at night and I didn't want to go back to the store so I improvised.

I had also pinned this recipe which I knew didn't call for frosting because it needed 3.5 cups of powdered sugar.

Ingredients

---

• 3 1/2 cups confectioners sugar
• 1/2 cup of butter (1 stick) softened
• 1/4 cup of milk
• 1 t vanilla
• 1 T lemon zest (the rind of a lemon)
• 2 T lemon juice

How to make it

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• mix the butter, lemon zest and vanilla together, making sure all the lumps are gone.
• add the milk, and quickly cream it into the butter mixture.
• by the 1/2 cup, mix in the sugar.
• once the sugar is all in the bowl, cream on "high" for two minutes. (I use this time to clean up)
• mix in lemon juice.
• spread heartily and enjoy!

Photo courtesy of Group Recipes

The other recipe only called for 1/4 cup of butter so I had to get creative in softening the other 1/4 cup of butter.

Then I got to the part with milk and ours was a little expired. I happened to have a can of  Sweetened Condensed Milk so I threw in a quarter cup of that, but it was too thick. I don't think I have ever worked with Sweetened Condensed Milk before - it was not what I was expecting. I didn't want to keep adding that so I said screw it and added a quarter cup of the couple day old milk, crossing my fingers that it wasn't bad. None of us got sick and it got rave reviews! Whew!

From Caltrans to California Highway Patrol

It's really starting to sink in that my days at my current job with Caltrans are limited. I am filled with gratitude and nostalgia, have a little sadness, and am bubbling with excitement.

I moved down to Southern California in November of 2009 and started working for Caltrans in January of 2010. It's really the only job I have known since moving down here and the people here are definitely the only work family I have had since leaving Sacramento.

Me and my boss at a 1960's themed meeting.

My first boss was and is amazing! He's like a big brother to me. It only took a few days for us to both realize we were going to work well together. We both fall under the Aquarius sign, our birthdays just days from each other. We love to eat... you want something from that guy? Give him food (preferably something chocolate) and you'll get what you need. We have a similar sense of humor and our minds work eerily the same - several thoughts going on at once, the mind rarely quiet. And we get each others sensitivity. He's a very sweet and sensitive guy, oblivious to most things, but pays attention when it's important (particularly when you'd prefer he not pay attention because you don't want to have to explain why it looks like you've been crying because that will just make you cry more.) He made my job joyful... When I worked for him, I didn't wake up every day dreading going to work and battling with myself to get up and go - I just got up and went without thinking about it because he was that great.

I'm not sure he knows what a gift he truly was to me. When I first started working for him, I had just spent the last three years in an extremely unhealthy relationship and had just left a supervisor that despised me and my work. My self confidence was nearly non-existent. He immediately saw my potential, entrusted me with important tasks, allowed me to make decisions, and slowly rebuilt my confidence. I am forever grateful to him for that and will definitely miss his charisma and his ability to smile no matter how high the shit is piled.

The Core Family

Don't worry, I wont bore you with mushy stories about each of those people, but Caltrans has been good to me. Sure, it wasn't rainbows and sunshine every day, but I enjoyed working here and the people were incredibly kind. I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to work for Caltrans and the be a part of the Caltrans Family. I mean, how many people get to say they got to be Cone Kid for their job?

Now, it's time for me to leave the nest. I am sooooo excited for my next adventure. I am moving on to the California Highway Patrol and will be working as a 9-1-1 dispatcher. I have been wanting to get this position for several years and it's finally happened! I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am for this new adventure. I really hope that I will love it as much as I think I will. And who knows, maybe I will get to be Chipper one day!

UPDATE: I came into work today and this is why I will miss my Caltrans family so much.

Congratulations!

The whole view.

The best part!

Banana Cookies

K and I have an overabundant amount of borderline rotten bananas in our freezer. I'm not sure how that happens. We have the best of intentions of eating the bananas and then next thing you know, they're all black and we just throw them in the freezer knowing we'll eventually make some banana bread or banana cake.

The other day, I was thinking about it and there are all kinds of banana recipes out there, but I couldn't recall ever seeing a banana cookie recipe. So I went on a mission to find one and came across this one. It claims to be a 70 year old recipe and that was in 2008... so it must be a 74 year old recipe by now. Well, it was an honor to get to try a recipe of such age!

The Recipe:

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup of unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 cup of sugar
• 1 egg, room temperature
• 1 cup of mashed bananas (about 2 ½ large bananas)
• 1 teaspoon of baking soda
• 2 cups of flour
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground mace or nutmeg I used mace because I'm not a fan of nutmeg, but they're actually quite similar.
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground cloves
• 1 cup of pecans (walnuts and chocolate chips are fine alternatives) 

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add the egg and continue to beat until the mixture is light and fluffy.
2. In a bowl, mix the mashed bananas and baking soda. Let sit for 2 minutes. The baking soda will react with the acid in the bananas which in turn will give the cookies their lift and rise. 
3. Mix the banana mixture into the butter mixture. Mix together the flour, salt, and spices and sift into the butter and banana mixture and mix until just combined.
4. Fold into the batter the pecans or chocolate chips if using. Drop in dollops onto parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Bake for 11-13 minutes or until nicely golden brown. Let cool on wire racks.

Makes about 30 cookies.

I didn't have a full bag of chocolate chips so I added them to the last batch and what a difference they made!! The cookies are delicious without them, so don't worry if you don't have any.

 

Pear Crisp & a Little Blog Bashing

Who needs food staging when you discover Instagram?

Our friends have many fruit trees in their back yard and the other day K came home from their house with a bunch of pears. I knew we wouldn't eat all of them so I went on a mission to find a recipe for a Pear Crisp. The winning recipe came from The Pioneer Woman blog. It also helped that I had all the ingredients on hand!

The Recipe:

FILLING INGREDIENTS:

• 4 whole (to 5) Large Pears (Bosc Work Well) (I don't even know what a Bosc pear is.)
• 2/3 cups Sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon Salt

TOPPING INGREDIENTS

• 1-1/2 cup All-purpose Flour
• 1/3 cup Sugar
• 1/3 cup Firmly Packed Brown Sugar (So what that a little extra fell in the bowl when I was getting it into the measuring cup. It didn't hurt anybody.)
• 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/2 cup Pecans, Very Finely Chopped (I don't love nuts so I used 1/2 cup of  Quaker Oats)
• 1 stick Butter, Melted

Preparation Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Peel the pears (I didn't do this because my hands give me issues and they kept cramping when I was trying to peel them) 
• Core, and dice pears. 
• Place into a bowl and stir together with 2/3 cup sugar (I'm not 100% positive all that sugar is necessary - keep reading) and 1/4 teaspoon salt. 
• Set aside.

• In a separate bowl, combine flour, sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, and pecans. Stir together. Drizzle melted butter gradually, stirring with a fork as you go until all combined.
• Pour pears into a baking dish. (I used a 9x9 Pyrex)
• Top with crumb topping.
• Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
• Place pan on top rack of oven for an additional 10 minutes, or until topping is golden brown. (I didn't do this last step. I baked it for the 30 minutes on the second to top rack and after the 30 minutes, the topping looked golden brown to me so I skipped the extra 10 minutes on the top rack.)

Serve warm with vanilla ice cream. (I absolutely did this!)

So, this is where the blog bashing begins. I think some of these food bloggers aren't always 100% honest. At least this is what I have started telling myself to make me feel better when a recipe doesn't turn out absolutely perfect like the food blog makes it seem. Haha.


My Crisp was crisp, but it was a little (ok, probably more like a lot) soupy underneath. Maybe soupy wasn't the right word because it didn't really ruin the dish, but there was a lot of juice on the bottom that the blog never mentioned. I suspect it might have been from the 2/3 cups of sugar I mentioned earlier that I thought it might not have been necessary to use quite that much. Maybe less sugar would have produced less juice.

Also, I thought the pears would cook more like apples. When you bake apples, they tend to soften - pears do not. Out of the five I cut up, only two were ripe enough to be soft. The others went in the oven hard, and came out of the oven hard. Not rock hard, of course, but definitely not soft like I was thinking they would come out.

Overall, it was good. Would I rush out and buy more pears so I can make it again? Probably not, but if someone were to give us a bunch of pears again, I'd make it again.

Now for a little more blog bashing:

I give myself such a hard time because my pictures don't look as good as "real" food bloggers. Granted, I just discovered Instagram and that seems to help (see demo below), but I don't think I would ever spend the time and energy trying to stage food the way real food bloggers do it. Kudos to them for putting in the effort, though. So, if you're a reader of my blog - you will get crappy pictures, but you will get honest truths about cheffing mishaps, recipe mishaps, and overall reviews. Granted, I wont blog the total disasters (unless it comes with a funny story), but I will give my honest opinion about my recipes. I mean, c'mon, do you really think that every single recipe food bloggers blog turns out amazing and tastes spectacular? I doubt it.

A real food blogger's photo.

My photo before Instagram

My photo after Instagram

 OK, maybe the Instagram doesn't help as much as I thought it did. Well, at least it makes it look like I tried.

What do you think of the new Bon Appetit?