There have been moments this past year that I never thought I would be grateful for my job. Don't get me wrong, I continue to have a love-hate relationship with my job, but there are more days of love than there are more days of hate lately. In the beginning, it wasn't always that way.
I am grateful the the generic reason of just having a job. A job with good benefits and good pay. Not everyone is fortunate in that arena.
I am also grateful because this job has challenged me more than any other job I have ever had. The challenge has taught me that I am stronger than I thought. That one bad day at work is just that - one day... and that the next day you do your best to tuck your anxiety in a safe place and face the new day with a renewed spirit and confidence.
It has taught me that I am powerless. I cannot control what happens in the world. Whatever happens - no matter how unfortunate, how detrimental, how upsetting - it is going to happen and I have little control over it. I can only do so much physically and when there is nothing more that I can do, there is compassion, which I have plenty of.
I have pride in what I do. More pride than any other job I have ever had. I am proud every day when I finish my shift and no emergencies happened with my officers and everyone has gone home to their families at the end of the day. I am proud when I have that difficult 9-1-1 call that I handle with compassion and the person on the other end feels like someone cares and is helping.
Despite the days when I want to run as fast as I can to something less stressful and easier... Despite the self doubt and the questioning on a regular basis if this is really what I want to do the rest of my career, I am still grateful for all it has taught me and continues to teach me. I am grateful for it's challenges and its rewards. I am grateful to have had this opportunity and to be able to say, "I did it!" - because not everyone can.