I think it's funny how when a new year comes around, people tend to be all motivated to make change. I get it... I am the same way, but in all honesty, people can change no matter what time of year it is! Either way, I am jumping on the New Year band wagon.
I went out to run a couple errands today and I was full - I mean FULL - of rage. It was brutal. People were taking too long, they didn't know how to drive... It was crazy how toxic I was.
The other day, K asked me, "What are you so mad about?" And I couldn't really answer her. I just was. Every. Little. Thing. pissed me off.
So, this evening, I did a little reflecting. I think I get in these funks - sometimes self loathing, sometimes angry, sometimes sad for no reason, you get the point - because there is so much more I want in my life but fail to provide for myself and I have the power to make them all happen. I have no excuse - lack of motivation and self discipline is all it is.
2013. There is always such a stigma around the number 13 that I have always told myself that 13 was my lucky number. If that holds true, 2013 should be my year. Here are a few of the things I want to see happen in my life in 2013, along with a little explanation.
- Read The Happiness Project. - My sister recommended this book almost two years ago. I finally bought it some time last year, read the first chapter, and put it on the book shelf. I will dust that baby off and dive in. I'm hoping I can get K to read it with me. Might be a good bonding book.
- Get organized. - I try to be, I really do. I get motivated and clean house and as long as I stay on top of it, it's easy to maintain. It's amazing how quickly it goes to shit, though. A couple days of laziness and it's suddenly overwhelming again. This month, I will focus on one room a week. Once I get that in order, I will do my best to maintain. Do a little every day.
- Clear the Clutter. - Our garage is filled with clutter. I got rid of a lot of my stuff when I moved to So Cal but I am a closet book hoarder. I have bins and bins of them. Realistically, I'm not going to read them. I just keep buying new books while the books I've already invested in sit in bins, dusty and unread. My hope was one day to have a library type room in my house, but let's get real... IF we ever have the money to buy a house I doubt it will be big enough to allow for a library.
- Get healthy. - It's not even about getting skinny. (Although, skinny would definitely be a welcomed bonus.) I just want to eat healthier. Cut out fast food. Eat carrots instead of cheesy poofs. Have a fruit parfait instead of a drumstick for dessert. Salad instead of PB&J for lunch.
- Be more active. - I live in a beautiful part of California and while I take advantage of the beach as much as I can, there is so much more to explore! And the weather here permits exploration year round.
- Diminish the debt. - This is a constant battle that we just can't seem to win. I want to tackle it this year. I don't expect to be debt free in a year, but I want to make a big enough dent in it where it doesn't feel like we're constantly fighting to keep our heads above water.
- Research starting a family. - If we can truly start making some headway on our debt, my hope is that we can get enough ahead that we can seriously consider the possibility of starting a family. I need to look into it more and start talking to people/doctors so we have an idea of how much money we're really looking at and if it is really even an option. (Donations for baby fund welcome. :o)
- Volunteer. - Sure, I have done the Relay for Life the last two years, but I want to do more. I have often wanted to volunteer in retirement/old people homes. So many of them rarely have visitors and I would love to visit with them - play cards, do a craft, chat over a cup of coffee. When I was a teenager, I would volunteer at the local hospital... maybe I can do that again. Volunteering is food for the soul. I always feel better when I am doing good for someone else.
- Find my spirituality. - I'm not really sure what that is, but I would like to get in touch with it and find what's right for me.
- Be less toxic. - Sure, being catty and judgmental can be fun and bring a good laugh from time to time. But it's bad for you and bad for the people you are judging. For every catty thought I have about someone, I will follow it with something positive about them and I will do my best to not let my catty thoughts become catty remarks.
- Scrapbook more. - This isn't really a crucial one, but I have sooooo many scrapbooking supplies that just sit in their cubbies collecting dust. Not to mention the memories that I have just waiting to be displayed. I have to remind myself that every page doesn't need to have mind blowing embellishments. Just get the pictures in and do a little journaling to document the memories.
Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy. In general, I am happy in my life, I just think there are more things I can do that will bring more happiness to my life and make me feel better about myself. Because lets face it, no one enjoys self loathing!
So here's to 2013 - Oh the possibilities it holds! May we all achieve the goals we set for 2013!!